Imposter Syndrome and I
Ever just felt like everything you do isn’t enough?
If you’re like me and sometimes struggle to acknowledge your own successes, I see you.
I never even acknowledged that I did this toxic thing to myself until I started DoodLEX. I have unfortunately done this pretty much my whole life though and not just in a creative context.
It is even more nuanced when you experience this creatively because when it does happen, even subconsciously, it insidiously mars our image of ourselves and our abilities.
Even now I find it hard to put into words how a trick that my own mind plays on me can rule such a big part of my life.
“But you’re so amazing, (your name)!”
“Why can’t you just see how talented you are?”
“It is so natural to doubt yourself.”
Oh, hell. It certainly is natural to doubt yourself but is it natural to fixate on your failings more so than your winnings?
Maybe it is.
Maybe it isn’t and we’re actually taught to be this way to constantly be filled with fear and hatred for ourselves… (maybe that’s a conversation for another day 😮💨)
Whether it’s natural or not; I know for certain that it’s toxic and unhealthy.
Starting my online, small business has taught me so much about people and business but mostly it has taught me a lot about myself.
I am resilient.
I am powerful.
I am determined.
I am innovative.
I am valid.
It’s easy to forget how much work you put in when the context in which everything you produce is digital. It almost feels non-existent to me sometimes.
Anyone else also minimise something that they do but then simultaneously praise someone else for doing pretty much the same thing like they are God’s gift? I just did it there. ⤴
I think that’s the finest example of imposter’s syndrome.
I liken my own digital artwork to ‘nothingness’ but highly-value digital art, especially in an online context.
Why can’t you gas yourself up as much as you gas up so and so over there?
You are allowed to feel that gush of happiness when someone compliments you or your craft. You are allowed to feel that. You are also allowed to give that to yourself.
It’s like masturbating and giving yourself the big O. Come on.
Don’t deny yourself pleasure in life because someone kept it from you or taught you that you were only allowed to seek it in others.
Here’s an example with DoodLEX.
My shop. 135 products with over 400+ colour and size variation listings.
My website is becoming more of an online hub for my personal brand but over the last year, it was predominantly a place for me to direct customers to buy my products.
Those analytics are not bad. I should be incredibly proud and I am.
I didn’t have the chance to acknowledge this success until I allowed myself to.
We just keep working and plowing ahead all the time, we never take opportunities to show gratitude or to reflect.
It becomes an insidious attack when we worry more about aiming higher than accepting we’ve already reached a thousand checkpoints to get to where we are now!
If you’re a small business owner, this is your sign to go and celebrate all you’ve achieved with your business since it began. Really cherish every win.
If you’re just a humble human bean who can relate to ‘not letting themselves have nice things’, again, I see you. Together we need to do more to appreciate the goodness we have created in the world; for ourselves and for those around us.
You get up every day and get dressed? Winner.
You provide for your family whenever and however you can? Winner.
You survive each day? WINNER!
Cherish every aspect of your character too.
NOT JUST THE PARTS THAT CAN BE MONETISED.
I hope you enjoyed the read.
Catch y’all in another life.
Lex 💚
